I’m rotting and I’m moldering

This post should definitely have a (S)PG rating. Sane person guidance reccomend.

I’m wasting my life. Who doesn’t thing this once in a while is probably a cyborg. Or a Kardashian, whatever. The credit for this probably belongs to a) our laziness and b) these stupid sunset photos with quotes that are impossible to avoid on social media. If nobody else, your aunt who drinks way too much white wine is gonna share them on her facebook wall.

The thing is I’m a coward and wow I’ve never actually admitted this to myself but I am one. Constantly scared and anxious about stupid things. It’s keeping me on the ground but I always kind of wanted to learn to fly. Too bad I’m afraid of heights. They always tell you, don’t let anyone bring you down and not don’t bring yourself down, which is so wrong. Because it’s almost always me who refuses to give myself a try. Which sounds weird but I’m writing without thinking whatever comes to my mind and I’m not gonna proofread because I just don’t feel like it. And this last sentence is probably me unlocking the rear entrance for when I read this in a year or so and will regret my whole existence.

Afraid to  trust,

like everyone must

just

feel disgust

when they meet me.

Afraid to wear

the things I want to wear

and like

the things I like,

I am afraid to be me.

You see?

I am a coward, not a liar.

But that’s just because I’m afraid my lies might backfire.

I’m proofreading it now

and wow,

just, how?

It doesn’t make any sense

hence

I’m going to wrap it up.

Maybe rhyming is just not my cup

of tea, I admit,

but still, I won’t just quit.

By the way,

as I say,

I really change the topic quite a lot.

I boycott

my own efforts to write.

My brain definitely knows hot to put up a fight.

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